


The Ways We Love

by WeBuiltThePyramids



Category: Scorpion (TV 2014)
Genre: As always if you're connected to the show please don't read ok?, Background Quintis, Established Relationship, F/M, Quintis helping Waige, Sex, Waige - Freeform, communication issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-14 05:57:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10530327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeBuiltThePyramids/pseuds/WeBuiltThePyramids
Summary: It's difficult for a couple to work through a problem when one of them doesn't even know the problem is there.





	1. Chapter 1

After years of crossword puzzles and Sudoku, there was finally a challenge in the newspaper.  Well, not a particularly difficult one, but one that Walter O’Brien couldn’t stare at for five seconds and then solve completely from memory.

It was a good thing for the _Now You See It_ folks that that was cancelled before he could compete.  He’d have cleaned up – if he managed to actually know what words he was searching for.

This particular puzzle was called Binarmania, and it was a grid of an incomplete binary code.  The object was to have the same number of zeros and ones in each row and each column, and there couldn’t be more than two of the same number next to each other, horizontally or vertically.  It wouldn’t take him a terribly long time, but it was something to get his brain working, and he was excited to finally be sitting down to it.

Megan would laugh at him, call him an old man, if she knew he was sitting at a kitchen table with a newspaper working on puzzles at midnight when he had to be awake early for a job.

“What are you up to?”

Paige appeared, still in the skirt she’d been wearing earlier that day, but a button up pajama top completed her look.  He vaguely recalled her telling him that the new top she’d worn to work today had an aggravating seam.

“Binarmania,” he said, holding up the paper.  “Fun fact, Braille is actually a form of binary code, since the dots can either be raised or not.”

“Huh.  I didn’t know that.”  Paige cocked her head.  “So uh, how long do you think you’ll be?”

“This should take me maybe twenty minutes,” Walter said.  “I am tired so that’ll slow me down.  I’ll have to see if this was in the last newspaper you got too, I don’t think it’s been recycled yet.”

Paige walked over to him.  “I have another idea.”

“Hmmm?” He tapped his pen against his lip as he studied the puzzle, then pressed it to one of the tiny rectangles and wrote a zero.

“Ralph isn’t home, which means we don’t have to worry about making sure he’s sound asleep.”

Walter wrote in two ones, then looked up at her.  “Ralph isn’t here.”  As soon as he said it, he realized that he was creating a slow echo in the room.

She raised an eyebrow.  “Exactly.”  She walked around the table and massaged his shoulders gently.  “We have the whole place to ourselves, Walter.”

He did like the quiet – as much as he loved Ralph.  The boy could get surprisingly rambunctious.

Paige kissed his neck.  “Come to bed.”

Walter finally got what she was getting at – and it was an appealing suggestion.  He turned to her, standing up and putting his hands on her hips as she caught his lips between her own.  One of her hands toyed with a button on his shirt, her fingers working deftly to undo it, then the down to the next one. 

Her hand slipped under the waistband of his pants and into his boxers, and Walter grunted as she started to stroke him.  His fingers, which had slid up to her ribs, pressed into her skin, and he shuddered as she lowered her head and began kissing him on the neck.  He wrapped his arms around her, needing to steady himself, and closed his eyes, his breathing growing audible.  “Paige.” If they didn’t get to the bedroom soon, he was going to be too weak in the knees to walk.

She lifted her head and removed her hand, grabbing both of his and pulling him toward the couch.  She had asked him to come to bed.  But couch was good.  Couch wasn’t as far to walk.  Walter dropped down onto it and she followed him, straddling his lap and grinding down on him as she put her mouth back on his.

Walter fumbled with the buttons on her shirt – he wasn’t nearly as good at this part as she was, and eventually she sat up, managing to open her shirt completely in seconds while he stared in wonder, both at her skill with the buttons and at how she looked in front of him.  Her breasts had always fascinated him, especially once he’d figured out exactly how he could use them to drive her crazy.  She was capable of reaching orgasm just from him paying attention to them, and he enjoyed being able to get such a response from her that way.  As she reached behind her back to undo her bra, Walter decided tonight was going to be one of those nights.

Her bra fell away, and Walter sat up straighter, placing his hands at the bottom of her rib cage as he bent to place wet kisses along her collarbone.  He grunted as her hands ran through his hair, and he slid one hand up to trace around one of her breasts with his index finger.  He lowered his mouth to the other one, parting his lips and trailing his tongue in a circle around the skin around her nipple.

He’d heard Paige’s breathing grow heavier, but now she moaned quietly, tightening her fingers around his curls.  “Walter,” she whispered, her knees gripping his hips like a vice.  He lifted his head, kissing her neck, finding the spot that made her make _that sound_ and then he grabbed her hands and forced her arms to her sides, gripping her upper arms in his hands and keeping them pinned there, unable to do anything but receive.  He lowered his mouth back to her breast, wrapping his lips around her nipple and swirling his tongue before sucking.

“Oh...” Paige threw her head back, and Walter knew without even seeing that her eyes were squeezed shut and she was biting her lip and he could feel her arms wanting to move and he swirled his tongue again without releasing the suction.  She bent her arms, gripping his just below his elbows and gasping.  Walter moved to the other breast, sucking around the nipple before finally giving it attention, hearing her breathing get heavier.  She began to rock her hips, pressing down on him and making him release her nipple and groan.  His body was aching for her and he wanted to finish this first, but _God_ , she was making that difficult.  He put his mouth back on her breast, finally releasing one of her arms so he could massage the other one, feeling her grip him tighter with her knees and now her hand around his neck and he knew she was close. He flicked his tongue against one of her nipples, rubbing the other with the pad of his thumb, and he heard her make a sound that resembled a whine as her body tensed.  He released her other arm as she went limp and she fell forward against him, her arms draped over his shoulders as she gasped against his neck. 

Walter rubbed her back soothingly. “Easy, Love,” he whispered.

“Holy shit,” she breathed, staying still against him for another minute or so, then sat up, easing off his lap.  Walter grunted quietly as their contact disappeared, but quickly moved to rid himself of his pants and boxers, pushing them all the way down to his ankles and kicking them off as she worked her skirt and underwear down her hips.

Paige walked between his knees and stood over him, running a hand through his hair and down his chest, slowly, stopping to rub one of his nipples between her thumb and forefinger.  Then she bent a knee, then the other, and lowered herself between his thighs.

She had him in her mouth almost before Walter’s brain had caught up to her movements, and he groaned, tipping his head back against the couch as she dropped all the way down and hollowed her cheeks as she slowly lifted back up.  As she continued, his hand came out, feeling along the seat cushion next to him, until it located the small pillow.  He drew it against him, gripping it tightly with both hands, trying to let out a long, low, quiet breath, but only managing to exhale halfway before it turned into a louder sound.  His eyes fell closed, his mouth open, and he flexed his fingers against the pillow.  Paige swirled her tongue around his head, tapping it firmly against the underside, and he groaned again.  Then she slowly took him all in again, staying down and sucking hard, using a hand to massage him underneath.  Walter bit down on the pillow as his thighs started to shake.  _Hold it, hold it, hold it,_ he chanted quietly.  He didn’t want her to stop, God, he didn’t want her to stop, but his body was crying to be inside her and he didn’t know if she was intending to finish him off this way or if she wanted that, too.

Paige’s other hand was massaging his thigh.  He tried to focus on that, but it only served as a distraction for mere seconds before he saw spots in his vision compared with the feeling taking hold in his groin and his teeth dug into the pillow before he released it and groaned loudly, reaching a hand down to one of her shoulders, trying to push her back.  “Paige, Paige, Paige...”

She lifted her head and carefully placed her thumb and forefinger, squeezing for several seconds before releasing him entirely.  Walter grunted in relief as she crawled back up, straddling him again and putting her mouth firmly on his, lowering herself until she was just too high for him to enter her.  Walter’s hands slid up to her hips and around to grip her rear, trying to guide her down onto him, but she resisted, continuing to kiss him, brushing her tongue along his and pushing her hips back into his hands.  Then she reached down between them, guiding him to her entrance and lowering herself in one smooth motion.  Walter went cross eyed.

Paige circled her hips, pressing down on him and closing her eyes.  She always did this when she was on top; she enjoyed the feeling of fullness, and Walter liked it too.  She felt incredible around him, she always had, and watching her move on him was one of Walter’s favorite things.  He put his hands on her hips as she rotated them, hearing her groan quietly.

Then she began to move, placing her hands on his shoulders for leverage and pressing her forehead against his.  Walter closed his eyes, sliding his hands up to her breasts.  He was closer than her, and he caressed them, occasionally swiping a thumb over her nipples to try and catch her up.  She quivered at his touch, thrusting more forcefully, not taking long to bring him right back to where he’d been when he’d stopped her before. 

But she was close, too.  The angle she was thrusting from was a good one for her, _efficient_ , and he knew his stimulation of her breasts was helping.  “Wal...ter...” she managed, her fingers digging into his shoulders hard enough that he knew there would be marks, and he craned his neck down, managing to find a nipple with his lips and flick his tongue against it despite all her movement.  She dropped all the way down onto him, grinding her hips back in circles, moaning against his neck and beginning the up and down motion again.  Walter’s hand continued to stimulate her breast, moving his lips back to her neck, and he felt her tightening and pulsing around him and that meant he could finally let go, and he thrust up to meet her and groaned, his eyes rolling back in his head as he followed her over less than a minute later.

She slumped against him again, her arms around his neck, and he held her, kissing her neck, knowing it took longer for her to come back.  “I’ve got you,” he whispered.

“Oh, my God,” she mumbled against his neck.

Walter looked to the side, spotting a tissue box on the table next to the couch.  Leaning over, holding her in place, he managed to hook a finger around it.  Paige sat up as he grabbed a wad of tissues in his hands, handing her another handful.  They usually avoided the couch because of the care they needed to take not to make a mess when they separated.  Getting the tissues into position, she slowly eased off of him.  “This part really kills the mood,” she commented.

Walter wouldn’t go quite that far, but he nodded in agreement.

She took the tissues from him, grabbing her skirt and heading for the bathroom to throw them away.  Walter eased his boxers and pants back up his legs, and then worked the pants back down.  They were going to bed, anyway.  He turned to make absolutely sure the couch had no evidence of what had transpired there, and, satisfied, he headed for the bedroom.  He could finish his code in the morning.

He’d just gotten over to the dresser and ran a comb through his hair when Paige entered the room.  Smiling, she walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his middle and pressing her cheek against his shoulder.  “That felt really good.”

“Good,” he said affectionately, sliding an arm around her and kissing her temple.  When they’d firsts gotten together, he’d been terrified that his relative lack of experience would leave her disappointed.  It hadn’t taken him long to master her, and he was glad of that, relieved even, that she wouldn’t grow bored with him while he learned.

She tipped her head up to look at him flirtatiously.  “Do you want to do it again?”

He smirked, turning his body so he could wrap both arms around her.  “We have to be awake in five hours,” he reminded her.

“Okaaaaay,” she said, resting her head on his shoulder.

They crossed the room and climbed into bed, and she scooted close to him, putting her head on his chest and sliding her arm over his stomach.  “Good night, Love,” she whispered.

He slid his hand up into her hair.  “Good night, Love.”


	2. Chapter 2

Paige stood in front of the mirror and shook her head, watching her hair fall over her shoulders.  She loved how it looked right after a blow dry.

It had been a long few days.  Their case had taken them to China, to create and implement some equipment to rescue a team who had become stuck up on K2.  Toby had wanted to force Happy to not go out there, and then had wanted to go with her.  But she and Walter were who were needed to accompany the Sherpas, and Paige and Toby had clung to each other at base camp, Sylvester pacing behind them, taking comfort in the coms not cutting out and allowing them constant reassurance that the two were okay.

How Toby and Happy had clung to each other when they were reunited.  “You and Walter were just as bad,” Sylvester had commented when Paige remarked on it on the flight home.

Fortunately, there had been no loss of life, despite the weather and despite the fact that K2 had a fatality rate many times that of the more famous, higher mountain to its southeast.  All eleven climbers, as well as Walter, Happy, and the three rescue Sherpas, descended safely.

Both Walter and Sylvester were asleep on Paige’s shoulders when they landed back in Los Angeles.

Walter had showered first, and when he walked out of her bathroom, running his hands through his hair, Paige had had to remind herself that the reason she was undressing was so _she_ could shower.  He smiled at her, leaning over to kiss her forehead before climbing into bed, and if it wasn’t for how gross she had felt after three days with no shower, she’d have joined him right then and there.

But now she was clean, and her hair was fluffy and gorgeous.  Paige took a moment to run her hands through it, hoping to get a reaction when she left the bathroom.  Being in a relationship with Walter, Paige almost couldn’t believe she’d spent ten solid years celibate.  He could get her hot without even trying, and she was like putty in his hands.

She’d always been this way.  Her sex drive was almost nonexistent when she was single, but when she was in love, it was a completely different story.  When she was in love, she craved the other person, and she loved Walter with everything she had.

One of the benefits of loving a genius fell into this category.  He needed to be good at everything he did, needed to be the best, and it hadn’t taken him all that long to master her.  She often found herself wondering how on earth she had survived without his touch for thirty plus years.

She wasn’t wearing anything under the tank top she’d put on after her shower, and she rubbed at her nipples through the thin material until they were visible.  Tossing her hair again, she exited the bathroom.

Walter was laying back against the pillows, his eyes closed, and when she pressed a knee onto the mattress, shifting it, he opened them and tipped his head toward her, smiling.  “Hey,” she said with a grin, crawling over him and bending her elbows so she could put her lips on his.  He kissed her back, reaching up and putting a hand on the side of her face.  Paige hummed quietly into his mouth.  She grabbed one of his hands, placing it on one of her breasts, and pushed her tongue into his mouth, her hips beginning to grind down on his.

“Paige,” he said, gently pushing at her.  “I’m sorry, I’m exhausted.”

She sat up, frowning down at him.  “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” He ran his hand up and down her thigh – he meant it as affectionate, but she wished he wouldn’t.  The ache between her legs was already uncomfortable.  “But we didn’t sleep much the past few days and I’m sore from helping carry Irving down the mountain.”

“Okay.” Paige reluctantly crawled off of him.  “I wish you’d told me you were sore, I could have given you a massage on the flight home.  Oh, I still can if you want!”

“Nah,” Walter smiled warmly at her.  “I can hardly keep my eyes open.”

Paige leaned over and kissed him quickly.  “If you’re still sore in the morning, please tell me.”

He nodded, his eyes closed.

“I love you,” she whispered, squeezing his hand.

“I love you,” he echoed.

Paige crawled in next to him, lying flat on her back with the covers drawn up around her, listening to the even sound of him breathing and hoping that her body would naturally unwind and let her fall asleep.

Nope.  It was clear within ten minutes that that wasn't going to happen.  Paige flipped the covers back and eased out of bed, heading for the bathroom. 

She reached under the sink and found the box.  Neither she nor Walter were terribly adventurous, so her ‘dirty basket’ was pretty much limited to vibrators.  She selected one, stripped from the waist down, then climbed into the empty bathtub.  She squatted down, clicked it on, and pressed it against her clit, reaching out with her other hand to balance on the edge of the tub.  Moving the vibrator in slow, circular motions, Paige closed her eyes, drawing breath in through her nose and letting it out through her mouth.  She kept it up for a couple of minutes, then clicked it to a higher intensity.  “ _Shit_ ,” she whispered, her breath hot, her knuckles starting to turn white from gripping the side of the tub.  Her circling motion located a spot that made her abs clench, and she stopped moving, holding the vibrator still against it.  Her mouth fell open, and she squeezed her eyes shut in an effort to stay quiet.

It was her fault, she supposed, for making assumptions.  After all, they had been through a long case and Walter had done a lot more physical labor than she had – although she would argue if he claimed he was in more pain than her; Toby’s nails had been digging into her arm for the better part of the time Happy had been out in the snow.  But Walter had always been so willing whenever she...

Paige blinked, opening her eyes and dropping the vibrator, which made her jump in surprise as it buzzed loudly against the bottom of the tub.  She snatched it up, frantically clicking it to off.  Her clit throbbed painfully, she wasn’t finished, but she was most definitely out of the mood.  She sat back against the back of the tub, leaning her head against the tile wall.

She and Walter had been dating since June, and now that she thought about it, she couldn’t remember the last time he had initiated sex.  He had, at least until recently, always been willing whenever she did, turning from his project or his book or abandoning his plan of sleep, but she was always the instigator.  Though just last week, a night or two before their tryst on the couch, he’d told her he wouldn’t have time to finish his project before the deadline, and now tonight.

 _He’s exhausted.  He’s sore._   Paige reminded herself that the reasons he’d given her tonight were completely valid.  But she also couldn’t help but remember when she’d been glad to have morning sickness if it meant she had an excuse to skip the class with the creepy anatomy professor who, ironically, never seemed to quite understand where her eyes were.

It wasn’t so much him saying no tonight that concerned her.  It was that _and_ his rejection six days ago _and_ the realization that she was always the one to start things.  She bit her lip.  What if he wasn’t attracted to her anymore?  What if he never truly was?

He loved her – she didn’t doubt that.  But maybe he didn’t want her anymore – or maybe he never truly had?  Maybe she was just one more thing to master, and now that he had, he had gotten bored.

She put a hand over her mouth, trying to stop any sound from coming out as tears found their way to her eyes.  What if, all this time, he was just having sex with her to appease her?  What if every time she started things, she was unknowingly pressuring him to do something he didn’t want to do?

If this was the case, asking him about it would only make things worse.  He would do whatever it took to keep her happy, she knew that.  He knew how much it would kill her to learn that she had been pressuring him, so he would lie.  He’d say she wasn’t.  He’d say he craved her as much as she did him.

 _But if that was the case, why wouldn’t he get things started?_   It didn’t make any sense.  They’d be a completely celibate couple if it wasn’t for her trying to jump him every other day.

Paige shook her head, trying to clear the uncomfortable word choice.  She didn’t view their physical intimacy as _jumping._ They made love.  She knew he viewed it that way too; they both knew there was a difference between sleeping with someone and sleeping with someone you love, and she felt his love for her in every touch.  She so badly wanted him to _want_ to love her that way, and not just do it to make her happy.

Paige wiped a tear from her cheek with the back of her hand.  _I hate that I’ve been pressuring you.  That’s the last thing I’d ever want to do._

She stood up, grabbing the vibrator and climbing out of the tub, searching for the toy cleaner in her medicine cabinet.  Once everything was as it was before, and her pajamas were back on, Paige wandered out into the bedroom, crawling into the bed next to Walter and scooting close, making herself the big spoon.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, stroking his arm as he slept.  “It won’t happen again.”

She loved him more than she loved sex with him.  If that’s what kept him comfortable, she could go without.


	3. Chapter 3

“You doing okay, Dineen?”

Paige jumped.  She hadn’t even noticed Toby approaching her.  “Yeah, I’m fine,” she lied.

“No you’re not.”  He gestured to the couch cushion next to her.  “May I?”

Paige shrugged.  It wasn’t like she could dictate who was allowed to sit on any of the furniture in the garage.

Toby tossed his apple core at the nearest trash can.  It hit the edge and fell in.  He threw his arms up, looking around the garage for anyone who might have noticed.  Paige pulled a corner of her mouth up in a half smile.  Satisfied that he got some reaction, Toby sat down.  “You know,” he said, folding his hands in his lap, “I _am_ a Harvard trained psychiatrist.”

Paige kept staring straight ahead.  They had no case today, and she really _should_ get to the paperwork from their K2 mission.  But she was just feeling so _down_.  She never thought she was the type of person to take advantage, especially not when it came to someone she loved so much. 

One of the things that always got to her about Walter was just how much he wanted to make her happy.  And he’d been making that effort years before they got together.  She knew he didn’t like cinnamon in his coffee.  He didn’t use to enjoy holidays, but he always gave her freedom to decorate the garage.  She’d once told him she enjoyed when he made jokes, and he’d actively started making more of them.  He did all of these things as if making her happy actively made him that way, too.

He was so, so good to her, and she’d been…

“What does enthusiastic consent mean?”

“You mean like for the dance with no pants?” Toby asked.

“Yeah.  Like, if you’re making out, or something, and you want things to go farther, and they don’t say no, and they _do_ it, but maybe internally they don’t want to, is that…is the other person… _bad_?”

Toby turned to look at her, leaning back against the couch.  “Well,” he said slowly, “I think that depends a lot on context.  If the person who wants to is guilt tripping, or manipulative, then that’s definitely a problem.  Now, there have been times I’ve been stressed out and Happy and I have slept together, and I know she’s just doing it to help me and she’d probably rather be doing something else in those specific moments, and that’s a different story.  I know when I was with Amy, there were times I was exhausted and she wanted to and so I did it anyway.  She wasn’t wrong for that, I maybe wasn’t feeling it at the time but I _still wanted to do it_ for her, because I loved her.”  He tipped his head in concern.  “What brought this on?”

“Oh, uh,” Paige said, being careful not to touch her nose, _why the hell would you have erectile tissue in your nose_.  “Ralph had this Sex Ed…thing…at school, and there’s this worksheet they have to fill out about boundaries and stuff, and I want to talk to him about it too.”

“I could do that if you…”

“No!” Paige straightened up and shook her head.  “No.  In fact, if I were you, I wouldn’t even mention it to him.”  If she was Pinocchio, she’d have impaled Toby by now.  _Oh my God, Pinocchio is NOT a children’s story_.  “Please, it’s just awkward.  I want to be able to do these awkward parent things for my son, even though they’re awkward.”

Toby nodded.  “Fair enough.”

Paige wanted to ask him _what if the person has always been uncomfortable with touch and now you’re worried that you’ve exploited their general enjoyment of being touched by you?_ But she stayed silent.  She didn’t want Toby to know this was about her and Walter.

* * *

When Walter suggested packing up Ralph’s telescope and going to the ocean, the boy had lit up like a Polish church.  Paige had been excited by the suggestion too; she loved the beach, she loved the way the sun looked when it set over the water, and she especially loved when the three of them went out together.

She folded her arms against the slight chill in the air, her feet buried in the sand, as Ralph knelt several yards in front of her, fiddling with the settings on the telescope.

Walter had returned to the car for their water bottles, and she heard him come up behind her.  There was a slight sloshing as he set them in the sand, then she felt his chest come into contact with her back as he slid his arms around her, his arms covering hers.  He kissed her ear, then pressed his cheek against hers.  “This is nice,” she commented.

“Yes,” Walter said.  “I saw how clear it was going to be tonight, and thought it would be the perfect time to bring the telescope down here.”

Paige bit her lip.  Yes, this was a great night for her son to star gaze, but that wasn’t what she was talking about.

“For a moment,” Walter continued, “I was distressed at the realization that I didn’t bring a jacket.  But then I thought well, I can hold her, and I like holding her, so maybe it wasn’t a bad thing.”

She closed her eyes, pressing her cheek harder against his.  _There you go, saying the perfect thing._   “You’re much better than a jacket,” she said.

Ralph turned toward them, yelling something about the star he could see, then, grinning, turned back to the telescope.  Paige felt Walter chuckle.

Yeah.  She loved this.  At the end of the day, it was _this_ she couldn’t live without.  If she and Walter stopped having sex, or only did so on occasion, she’d be okay.  It wouldn’t be easy – at least not at first – but it would be _okay_.  “Hey, Walter?”

“Mmmm?”

She twisted in his arms until she was facing him.  Placing her hands on his chest, she smiled, a little nervous.  “I just…” She stared down at one of her hands, biting her lip.  Looking back up at Walter, she took a breath.  “I just really love you.”  _I love you more than I love having sex with you.  It’s not even close._   “I’ve honestly never been this happy.”  She didn’t want to talk about what was bothering her – she had no idea how to bring it up and was terrified of what he might say and anyway, Ralph was right there – but she did want to somehow reassure him anyway, that it was okay. That it was all okay, because they loved each other.

Walter smiled.  “You already know this,” he said softly, “but I’ve never been _close_ to as happy as I am now.”

He was leaning in to kiss her, and Paige closed her eyes, humming quietly when their lips met.  She slid her hands around his neck, holding him in place, relishing the warmth from his arms and their shoulder to hip contact.

“When the two of you reach a natural stopping point,” Ralph said loudly, “I want to show you this star.”


	4. Chapter 4

Paige didn’t know how to answer when Walter asked her if everything was okay.

Everything was great, on the surface.  They’d never officially talked about it, but he was pretty much living with her and Ralph now, and Paige knew that her son was as thrilled about that as she was.  She used to be scared, before she and Walter got together, at how the three of them hanging out together felt.  But now...now they _were_ a family, and she supposed that maybe they always had been, and it just took them a while to find each other.

And during the day, and in the evenings, everything was the same.  There were the little touches at work.  There were the quick hugs and the longer embraces. He held her hand more often than any of her previous boyfriends did, and she realized that she really, really liked that.  They cuddled on the couch while watching the latest bad horror movie, and for someone who still said he was bad with words, he certainly never held back telling her he loved her.

He wasn’t even acting any differently than he ever had when they went to bed.  They’d talk, sometimes for an hour, before going to sleep, and he’d even hold her hand sometimes then, too.  Sometimes they fell asleep facing away from each other – as all couples do – but sometimes they’d sleep with their foreheads touching.  Aside from the fact that they hadn’t had sex the past week, there was absolutely nothing different.

But for them, going a week was unheard of.

And it didn’t seem to be bothering Walter at all.

Paige had gone to the library two days prior, seeking out other people who were in sexless relationships.  What she’d found made it all seem even more complicated.  There were asexual people who liked sex, asexual people who didn’t care but did it for their partner, asexual people who were sex repulsed, then there were people who weren’t asexual but despite experiencing attraction, had little to no sex drive, or who experienced sex repulsion.  Then there were the people who experienced touch or germ related phobias that might not be directly related to their libido or sexual orientation, but still affected their sex lives.

Even knowing that Walter wasn’t asexual didn’t make any of this any clearer because that had nothing to do with your sex drive or your desire to actually do something _about_ your sex drive.  The only thing that was clear was that some people ended relationships over disagreements about how often they would be having sex.  _You’re allowed to leave someone for that reason,_ a comment said.  _You don’t get to guilt trip a person, or manipulate them, and you have to understand that they are just as allowed to not want to have sex as you are allowed to want to.  But if that really is a deal breaker, it’s okay to move on.  Just don’t be a dick about it._

Breaking up with Walter was out of the question.  After all, the reason she loved sex with him so much was because of their bond, the trust they had, and how much they loved each other.  She couldn’t fathom giving all of that up.

But giving part of it up was going to be _hard_.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” she said with a smile, reaching over and stroking the side of his face that wasn’t pressed into the pillow.  “I just have a lot on my mind, is all.”

His hand trailed lightly from her shoulder to her hip – a touch that was meant to be affectionate and comforting but was threatening to light her up like a kindling fire.  “I’m here if you want to talk about it.  I uh, I know I’m not good with words myself, but you’ve said I’m an excellent listener.”

 _This isn’t something I can confide in you about._  “I know.  But I just need to clear my head.  I’ll be okay.”

“Okay.” He scooted closer to press a kiss to her forehead.  “Good night, Love.”

She sighed.  It wasn’t wrong to want, was it?  She knew how it all felt.  She knew the feel of his hands on her breasts, on her stomach, on her butt (Toby laughed at her once, _butt is so juvenile, say ass_ but it sounded wrong to her for some reason, to use in this context).  She loved how his mouth felt, working its magic on her neck, breasts, and between her legs.  She loved his hips against hers, the feel of them rocking together, the way he shuddered above or below her when he got close and how his breath was hot when he groaned her name against her lips or neck.  She knew it all so well and was it so bad to want?  She’d never pressure him.  They’d never do any of that again if the alternative was making him uncomfortable but _was it so bad to wish, if only internally, that things were different?_

She thought it wasn’t so bad.  But maybe she was only trying to prop herself up.

* * *

 

She knew Toby had been surprised when she showed up at two in the morning in tears, and she was grateful when he pulled her into a hug before even asking why she was there.

But when he _did_ , it all came pouring out.

Maybe she even gave too much detail.

“Wow,” Toby said, shaking his head slowly when she finished. 

“I know it’s late,” she blurted, shifting uncomfortably, wondering, now that she’d spilled, if she should have done so.  Walter was one of Toby’s best friends, after all.  “You won’t say anything about this?  To Walter?”

“Of course not,” Toby said.  “I haven’t before, have I?”

She smiled in relief.  “No.  Thank you.  I just don’t know what to do.  It’s late.  I’m sorry.  Is Happy here?”

“She’s still asleep.” Toby gestured to the bedroom.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Toby smiled, lifting his hat off of his head – _did he sleep with that thing?_ – and placing it on hers.  “You took a lot of my late night calls when I was initially shaking off gambling.  If anything I owe you.”

“You don’t,” Paige said.  “But thank you for listening anyway.  I just don’t...”

“You’re happy,” Toby said.  “And you love the way things are, and now you’re terrified that that was just an illusion.”

“Yes.”

“Look, Paige,” Toby said, leaning forward, resting his arms on his knees, “I obviously don’t know as much about your private life with Walter as you or he does.  But...I don’t think you were fooling yourself.”

She blinked.  Her eyes hurt.

“He’s attracted to you.  He’s told me as much.  And I know he’s told _you_ as much.  I’ve seen the way he looks at you sometimes and I’m not talking about the loving looks.  If I’ve noticed them, so have you.”

“You can be attracted to someone and still be uncomfortable with...” Paige didn’t know why she was hesitating to say s _ex_ after all the information she’d just unloaded.

“Yes.  You can.  But you can also come off as being uncomfortable with something because you never are the one to get it started, but in reality you’re just bad with words and expressing how you feel.  Doesn’t that sound like a genius we all know?  And that I know a little bit...better...after tonight?” Paige turned beet red.  “Don’t do that,” Toby said with a smile.  “I told you I’m not going to blab.  But I am going to give advice.”

“Talk to Walter?”

“Precisely.”

Paige drew her knees up to her chest.  “I’m just scared that what I’m fearing will be realized and I don’t know if I can handle hearing him say that I’ve pressured him.”

“I really don’t think he’s going to tell you that,” Toby said, “but don’t you want him to be able to be honest with you?  And if he was doing something to pressure you, wouldn’t you want him to talk to you about it?”

Paige bit her lip, then sighed.  “Yeah.  Yeah, I would.”

“Talk to him, Paige.  Find out what he is and isn’t comfortable with.  From what you’ve told me, you’re incredibly frustrated right now, and you need some sort of outlet for that.  Even if he isn’t comfortable doing everything, there might be other things he’s fine with doing for you.  You won’t know until you talk to him.  And not talking to him is just going to make this situation pretty unhealthy.  Especially if you’re not...taking care of you yourself.”

 _Oh God._   She had _really_ overshared.  But that was something new to her, too – when she was having regular sex with Drew, or during short time periods he was away at games, there was no issue with taking care of an urge herself on occasion.  And when she was single, she was so rarely reminded she had a libido anyway, that her hands or a toy were more than enough.  But this past week, craving physical intimacy with the person she loved and not having it, and not knowing when or if she would have it again, those methods just didn’t hold her interest.  It was nothing against Drew or either of the people she had slept with before him.  Those situations were all different from this one because in those situations, she wasn’t solely relying on herself.

Some people on those message boards took care of all their urges on their own, long term, and they were completely satisfied that way.  Paige wished she could be like them.  But the idea of laying in the bed she shared with Walter, crooking her fingers inside herself and knowing that was all she was ever going to do...it was unappealing.  She would rather ignore her urges and do nothing about them at all.

“Paige?”

She jumped.  “Huh, yeah.”

Toby raised his eyebrows.  She sighed.  “Yeah, I know, I’ll...I’ll try to talk to him.”  She stood, and when Toby rose with her, she stepped closer and hugged him again.  “Thanks.  I really mean it.”

* * *

“It’s strange to hear Dineen be so unsure of herself when it comes to a relationship,” Happy said.

Toby jumped, then whirled around to see his wife standing in the doorway between the living room and their bedroom.  “I told her I wouldn’t tell!”

The corner of her mouth turned up in a smirk as she folded her arms.  “You didn’t tell me, you dope, I overheard.”  She tightened her robe around her.  “I wonder what Walt thinks about all this.”

“He probably doesn’t even know she thinks anything is wrong,” Toby said with a shrug.  “They’ve never been the best at communicating, and little problems – ones that could be resolved with a five minute conversation – can get a lot worse if they’re not talked about.”

Happy nodded.  “She’s not going to talk to him, you know.”

“You’re thinking she’s going to be too scared,” Toby said, with a nod of agreement.

“Uh huh.  I may not be breaking any E.Q. records, but even I can see that when it comes to her and him, she’s just as afraid of ruining it as he is.”


	5. Chapter 5

If there was one thing Walter had a love – hate relationship with, it was tedious work.

This job was easy enough – a major security update was happening and he was supposed to watch for any signs of hacking.  Easy job, easy money.  The downside was the update was going to take a full twelve hours and that meant he was stuck at the garage all night.  Paige was at home, supervising a Skype call Ralph had to make for one of his foreign language classes.  But Walter wasn’t entirely alone.

“This job is real boring, Walt.”

 “I realize the entertainment value is not high,” Walter said, “but you and I are the best to work on this job because you are the fastest at...”

“If we need to build anything for you to use to increase their security, I know,” Happy said.  “So how are things with you and Paige?”

Walter looked at her, confused.  “You...don’t ask people about their private lives,” he said.

“Yeah, that was a dead giveaway, wasn’t it?”  Happy shoved her hands in her pockets.  “I overheard Paige talking to Toby a few days ago.  He did _not_ betray her confidence and I will kill you with my bare hands if you ever let her believe he did.  And I...I think you need to know something.  Because she thinks she has to always know what to do, because she’s the normal, and she’s just as bad as the rest of us, in some ways.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Can I get personal?  I don’t need an answer to this question, just think it to yourself.” Happy raised her eyebrows.  “Have the two of you had sex lately?”

Walter thought back.  It had been almost...two weeks.  Huh.

“You know how uncomfortable this conversation is making me, okay?” Happy said, standing in a near combat stance.  “But Paige has been thinking about how you never initiate your...intimate encounters.  And she’s convinced yourself that that means you don’t want to and you feel like she’s forcing you.  So instead of talking to you about it, she’s decided that she’s never having sex again because she loves you too much.”

Walter let out a confused chuckle.  “What?  That d – doesn’t...make any sense.”

“I’m just telling her what she told Toby in tears on Monday.”  Happy crossed her arms.  “I know this is hard for you, but this is absolutely destroying her.  You need to talk to her because I don’t know if she’s going to talk to you.”

Walter was completely still, his hands clasped together, staring straight ahead.  Paige thought she was _taking advantage_ of him?  He didn’t even know how to process that, why would...

Oh God.  What had he done?  Why had he become unapproachable to her?  And what had happened to make her think he didn’t want her?

Initiation.  Happy had mentioned initiation.  He never started things.  _She_ always did, but...but how had he given her the impression that he didn’t enjoy it?  There had been times his attraction to her, his response to her, had been overwhelming, almost to the point of embarrassment.  She was undoubtedly his biggest weakness.

He needed to explain to her what was going on.  He sat up straight, clearing his throat.  “Happy, go upstairs.”

“Are you sure?”

“ _Yes_.” Walter said forcefully.  Happy lifted her hands defensively, then slowly backed toward the stairs.

Walter watched her go, then grabbed his phone and dialed, glancing at the time on his laptop screen.  It was late – but not so late that she would already be asleep.

He realized as soon as she picked up that this probably wasn’t something he should be doing over the phone.  Maybe that was what Happy had been questioning.  But he couldn’t leave the garage, and he didn’t want to wait until tomorrow.  “Hey.”

“Is everything okay?” She asked.

“Well, no-t exactly,” Walter said slowly, tapping his pen against the desk.  “Paige, Happy told me...well, first of all, she told me to tell you that Toby didn’t tell her anything.”

There was silence.  A long silence.  Then, “Oh...oh my God.”

She sounded absolutely horrified.  “No!” Walter said.  “Paige, don’t be angry.”

Another silence.  “I’m not angry, I’m...” her voice cracked and the last word trailed off, but Walter heard the beginning of it and knew the sentence ended with _embarrassed_.

“Honey,” Walter said.  “Please don’t cry.”

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you, I just...I just don’t know...how...to...” he heard a couple of gasps as she tried to stabilize.

“I’m concerned,” Walter said slowly.  “I want you to tell me what I did that made you afraid to talk to me.  I...I may have gotten complacent the past few months, taking you for granted, and I’ve tried so hard not to ever do that but maybe I’ve...I’ve just...”

“Walter, you didn’t do anything,” she said.  “ _I’m_ the one who...”

“But you aren’t.”

Another silence.  When she spoke again, she sounded hesitant.  “I’m not what?”

Walter wished they were face to face.  “You’re not pressuring me, Paige.  Ever.”

“Walter...”

She trailed off.  Walter waited a moment.  “Is it okay if...if I say a couple of things? Because that’s why I called, and I’d really like to...”

“Yeah.”  He almost heard her nod.  “Yeah, go ahead.”

He let out a long breath.  “Paige, I don’t...I am not good at...I am very...the focus is on the left hemisphere of my brain.  So, I will, quite often, be distracted by logic and math and science, just as you might want to watch television or read a book, I might want to...solve a binary puzzle, or teach myself Morse Code, or...or things like that.  And I throw myself into these things, because they are where my mind naturally goes.  And when I do...when my mind wanders to how attracted I am to you, I’m worried about if it’s appropriate, or if you’re tired or if you’d rather be doing something else.  And because...because I’m so naturally inclined to focus on intellectual pursuits, it’s easy to distract myself.  And you...you always let me know when you want to, and since I don’t always, uh, as Toby would say, _have it on the brain_ , I found it...easier...to let you take the lead.”

There was another silence.  “I know,” Walter continued.  “I realize now that maybe that came off as...as me being...less than enthusiastic.  But it’s just the way that I...” he cleared his throat, switching what he was going to say, “I can be better.  Now that I know that that hurts you, I...”

“Walter.”  Now, he could almost see her shaking her head.  “Walter, I was afraid that maybe you...maybe you weren’t attracted to me anymore, and I was afraid that I was pushing you to do things you didn’t want to.  If you’re telling me that you do want to...if you’re telling me that you want to then I don’t need you to initiate.  Honestly.  As long as you keep on telling me whenever you don’t feel like it.”

“H – H – Happy said that you were willing to...to stay with me even if...”

“Not willing,” Paige interrupted.  “Not willing.  I would _want_ to.  In a second, Walter.  I love you.”

“I know you would,” Walter said.  “That’s what I’m trying to say.  It’s not a bridge you have to cross, but...it means so much to me, that if that is what I needed, that you would.  It uh...” he felt a lump in his throat.  “It really shows me.  How much you love me.  Even though I...already know.”

“God, I wish we weren’t apart right now,” she whispered through the phone.  “I want to hold you.”

He wanted to ask her to come over.  But he knew she couldn’t, and Happy was here anyway.  “I’ll come home in the morning,” he promised.  “This is going to be done in just about eight hours, I’ll be there before Ralph leaves for school.”

“Good.  I know I saw you five hours ago, but I miss you all of a sudden.”

Walter smiled.  “I uh, I think maybe you should go to bed,” he said, feeling a rush of confidence go through him.

“Bed?  It’s not even eleven.”

“I know, but...” He smiled, imagining the way she would react to his words.  “You should get good rest tonight, because...” He dropped his voice.  “Because if things go the way I’m planning, you won’t be sleeping much tomorrow.”


	6. Chapter 6

Paige stared in the mirror.  She was dressed as she always was in the mornings…was that appropriate?  Should she change?  Put something lacy on underneath her leggings and sweatshirt?

 _Stop it._   Walter practically lived here.  It wasn’t like this was their first time.

“Mom!  Walter’s home!”

What she was wearing would have to do.  Paige smoothed down the front of her sweatshirt and headed down the hall.

“Twelve whole hours and no hacking attempts?”  Ralph was wrinkling his nose.  “That’s so boring.”

Walter mussed his hair.  “Sometimes boring is a good thing, Ralph.”

“Did you get any sleep?”

“Couple hours right after it was over.  Didn’t want to navigate rush hour with no sleep.”

Paige smiled.  Walter had become so much more careful since they had started dating.   _I have to be,_ he had told her once.  _If any family deserves to not get left again, it’s this one._

“I have to go to the carpool now,” Ralph said, raising his eyebrows.

“Go, go to school, buddy,” Walter said.

Ralph’s eyebrows somehow shot higher.  “You’re standing in front of the door.”

“Oh.  Right.”  Walter stepped to the side.

“By Mom,” Ralph said, lifting a hand as he passed through the doorway.

Walter turned to Paige.  She smiled, rubbing her arms.  “So we’re…alone now.”  She cringed.  Of course they were alone.  They were alone a lot.  This was an established relationship.

 _But I’ve missed him._   She drew in a breath and let it out sharply.  It wasn’t even that.  It was more like… _I’ve spent the past two weeks in so much doubt.  And that’s over now._

Walter crossed the distance between them.   “Look.” He put his hands on her upper arms, smiling at her affectionately.  “Paige, before anything else, I just…” the way he was looking at her made her feel weak.  “I just need to know that you believe me.  Everything I said on the phone.”

The way he was looking at her almost made her incapable of registering exactly what he was saying to her.  God, she might be okay just to be looked at like that for the rest of her life.  “I do,” she whispered.  “I believe you.”

“Good, because...” he slid his hands up to her face.  “You’re my person, Paige.  I am going to wake up, every day, for the rest of my life and think about how incredible it is that we found each other.”  He leaned in, resting his forehead against hers as he continued to hold her face.  “I love you. So much.”

 _God._   Paige slid her hands up to his neck, wanting to hold him in place, keep him right where he was.  “You always know exactly what to say,” she whispered.

He smiled.  “I do try.”

She giggled, her eyes falling closed as he kissed her, his hands moving down to find hers, taking a step closer until their bodies touched.  She squeezed his hands, smiling against his lips.  They remained there, almost motionless, for several glorious minutes, and then Walter released her hands, placing his on her hips and pulling her against him.  He tucked his head next to hers, his lips near her ear, and whispered “I turned off my phone.  Cabe can’t call.  No one can disturb us today.”

He was saying it just to be informative, to let her know they wouldn’t be interrupted, but if he’d have said that with the intention of turning her on as fast as a light, he’d have been successful.  Her knees trembled.  Walter slid a hand under the bottom of her shirt, easing it up to thumb at her over her bra.  “Let’s go to bed,” he whispered.

Paige didn’t remember how they got there as soon as her back touched the mattress, but there they were, Walter on his side next to her, running his hands over her while he kissed her on her mouth, jaw, ear, neck.  She wiggled out of her top, then helped Walter with his.  He undid her bra – she had thought to put one on that came open in the front.

Walter’s fingers trailing along her skin were sending sensations straight downward.  This was going to be fast.  Paige wiggled as a hand slid over her breasts, then lower, stroking the soft skin around her naval.  “Walter,” she whimpered.  God, was she going to come just from his hands running over her?  After weeks of wanting him, and wanting him _this badly_ , she could already feel the beginning of sensations it sometimes took her nearly a half an hour to experience.

Walter slid his hand down to the waistband of her leggings, starting to pull down, and she lifted her hips to help him.  He sat up to pull the rest of her clothing down and tossed it away before removing his pants and boxers and kneeling over her.  His eyes were dark with desire as he slowly shook his head.  “I don’t understand.”

“Don’t…what?”

His eyes scanned her body.  “How you could think I’m not attracted to you.”  Paige shuddered at his tone and at the hunger in his eyes.  Settling back in on his side, next to her, Walter’s hand began to roam again, leaning over and capturing her lips between his own.  Paige cupped the side of his face, savoring their every point of contact, a tiny moan rushing between her lips when he went back to kissing her neck.  “I’m so attracted to you,” he mumbled, “sometimes I can’t think straight.”  Paige shuddered.

His hand dipped between her legs, and he groaned quietly against her neck.  “God, you’re wet.”  He ran his fingers up her slit, then back down, and Paige drew in a breath.  Walter’s lips stayed on her neck, placing open mouth kisses from her jaw to her collarbone.  Walter’s fingers continued to tease her, stroking her, finding her entrance and rubbing the tip of a finger around it.  Paige thought she might start tearing up.  She needed _something_ inside her, something of his, and thankfully Walter seemed to recognize that she couldn’t take anymore because he inserted a finger.

She jerked against his hand, she’d needed this, and she moaned quietly as he slowly moved the finger in and out.  She lifted a hand to his hair, cupping the back of his head as he kept kissing her.  “Walter, that feels so good,” she said, curling her fingers through his hair.  She could feel the tension pooling between her thighs, her body flushing, she was so wound, and she put a hand over her mouth.

He responded by inserting a second finger, and she moaned again, louder this time, when he began to stroke her from the inside.    “Oh my God.”  She bit down on a finger, panting loudly through her teeth, and Walter pressed his thumb over her clit, rubbing it, and she was done for.  Paige moaned as she contracted against his hand, sliding her hand up to brush hair back from her forehead.

Walter kept slowly moving his fingers, but stopped when she flinched.  Removing them carefully, he stroked her hip, his other hand running through her hair.  Paige’s cheeks flushed.  She’d never finished that quickly before, and it was almost embarrassing how long of a two weeks it had been.  But she didn’t care.  She had missed this so much it had almost hurt and this release was so fulfilling. 

Walter lowered his head to her breasts, kissing them, then licking around each of her nipples, blowing lightly on them after he did so.  Paige shuddered.

Then, his hands, his mouth, everything went away.  Walter looked down at her.  “Sit up,” he said.  “And turn around.”

Paige did, lifting her elbows, knowing his arms were going to slip around her.  She loved this, when he massaged her breasts from behind while he kissed her neck and shoulder.  The first time he’d done this, she’d been standing in front of the mirror and her knees had buckled so much she’d banged one against the dresser and had a nasty bruise.

Walter’s hands slid around, cupping her breasts, and placed a wet kiss on her neck.  He began to knead them, his fingers pressing against them with varying intensities.  A couple of times, he squeezed, sucking at her neck at the same time and then rubbing his thumbs over her nipples.  Paige’s breath grew shaky.

She scooted backward, her bottom pushing against him as his hands continued to work, and he groaned softly against her neck as her shifting backward pushed his erection between her thighs.  His thumbs flicked against her nipples, making her moan again, reaching up to grasp at her hair.

Walter kissed her on the neck, lightly nipping at the soft skin, his fingers curling along the undersides of her breasts.  Her mouth fell open, a gasp escaping her lips.  Walter’s tongue traced over the slight mark made by his teeth.  “Mark me,” she breathed.  She knew she’d have to be careful as to what shirt she was wearing when Ralph got home from school, but she didn’t care.  She wanted visible evidence of this morning, to be seen by only the two of them.  “Oh God,” she moaned, making each word more syllables than it needed to be when he locked his lips on her neck and sucked hard.  She slid a hand up, resting it against the side of his face, sighing loudly.  Walter moved to a different spot on her neck, and then another, his hands still kneading her breasts.

Paige imagined this just might be what _bliss_ was.

He was still between her thighs, hard and insistent, and as much as she was loving all the attention, she was starting to feel a tiny bit selfish.  After all, part of what she’d been afraid of was he’d stopped being attracted to her, stopped wanting her, and she wanted to acknowledge the clear evidence to the contrary.  Paige wiggled around until she was facing him.  “Lay back,” she whispered.

Walter looked behind him, unsure if there was room, then shifted until he could lay down.  “Do you want a pillow for your head?”  Walter extended an arm, and she leaned back, grabbing one and handing it to him.  Then Paige hovered over him, leaning down to capture his lips between hers, before reaching down to take him in her hand, seeing and feeling him twitch in anticipation.  Scooting down the bed, she stroked his abdomen, then his thigh, and then she wrapped her lips around him.

Walter’s breath hitched, and his eyes half closed as he looked down his body at her.  Paige lifted her head and smiled at him, starting to massage him below with her hand, and he grunted.  She lowered her head again, taking all of him in, flattening her tongue and moving it up and down while applying suction with her mouth, her hand still working just below.    She could see one of Walter’s hands curl around the sheet.

Lifting her head, she scooted back a fraction, lowering her head way down to where her hand had been, wrapping her lips as best she could around him and sucking, tracing around him with her tongue. 

“Oh!” Walter’s body jerked, and he threw his head back, beginning to pant.  “ _Oh my God_.”

Paige smiled to herself as she continued, Walter’s every exhale starting to come as a groan.  She pressed her tongue more firmly against him as she continued to create suction, her hand continuing to move up and down his shaft.  Walter wiggled on the mattress, pulling one of his legs up and to the side to give her more room.  She tilted her head, taking more of him in her mouth and humming, the slight vibrations making him curse quietly.  Paige smiled internally.  She had him _completely_ at her mercy and she liked that maybe a bit too much.

It wasn’t too much longer before she heard the pitch of his moans change – they were a little higher, sharper, more desperate, and she recognized how close he was.  Lifting her head back up to his shaft, she locked her lips around the tip of him, teasing with her tongue, then dropped down, taking all of him in and hollowing her cheeks as she quickly drew back up and dropped down, settling into a rhythm, hearing his breathing grow faster and louder.

“Paige,” Walter said, his voice sounding strained.  “Paige...slow...and deep...please...”

She obliged, taking him all in again, slowly, then drawing back up with just as little speed, her lips working from side to side.  She repeated, then again, and again, her hand sliding back underneath, and Walter made a sound that sounded almost like a pained yell but was anything but, and Paige stopped moving but stayed around him, stroking his thigh as he exploded.

She squeezed her fingers around her thumb to combat the gag reflex, and waited a few more seconds before lifting up.  Leaning over the bed, she grabbed the small trash can, spitting inside and then crawling across the bed for a tissue.  She wiped her mouth, tossed the tissue into the receptacle, and turned her attentions back to Walter.

He was gasping, a leg partly bent, his hand covering his eyes.  She crawled toward him, rubbing his thigh soothingly.  “Easy,” she whispered.  “Easy, Love.”  His hand was fumbling on the mattress, and she took it, lifting it to her lips so she could place a gentle kiss on his fingers.  Then, she lay down next to him, placing a hand on his chest.  “Breathe,” she whispered, smiling down at him.  He seemed to be having a bit of an easier time.  She kissed his shoulder.  “Are you okay?”

“I may actually be dead,” he said, his voice such a dead pan that she actually laughed.  He lifted his hand off his eyes and grinned at her. 

Paige kissed his shoulder again.  “I am not letting you die and get away that easily.”

He chuckled, then rolled onto his side, tugging her closer by her hip and lowering his mouth to one of her breasts, licking around her nipple and then locking his lips around it.  She closed her eyes, putting a hand in his hair and sighing.  “Oh, that feels good,” she said, drawing in another long breath.

He kept his attentions where they were for a minute or two, then moved to her other breast, easing her over onto her back.  Then, he sat up, frowning, looking behind him at the pillows up at the head of the bed.  “Scoot up there.”

Paige smiled, a blush creeping over her cheeks.  She knew what he had in mind.  Crawling up, she settled in the center of the bed, against the pillows, her knees open.

Walter hesitated.  “Uh, one more thing.”

She cocked her head.  Walter got off the bed and rummaged through his bag, pulling out what looked like a long ribbon.  “I was thinking that, uh, maybe, uh, that maybe we could t – t – take your hands out of the equation.”

Paige’s eyes were wide.  “Um...” This was uncharted territory for her, for either of them, but...but it was _oddly_ titillating.  “Yeah, sure.”

He gave a nod, walking back over to the bed.  There was nowhere to fasten anything on the headboard, so Paige shifted to the side, so she was laying diagonally, and put her arms over her head.  Walter tied her wrists together, then secured the lace around the post.  “Uh,” he said, looking down at her and seeming distracted for a moment before making eye contact with her again.  “I think we, uh, we need a safe word.”

“A _safe word_?” Paige exclaimed.  “What on Earth are you planning on doing?”

“Just,” Walter said quickly, holding up a hand, “just in case it hurts.  The ribbon, I mean.”

“Oh.”

“Like, if it turns out it is t – tied too tightly, and your circulation, or s – something.”

“How about I just say _ribbon_?”

“That could work.  I don’t think you say _ribbon_ all that often in normal circumstances.”

She smiled.  “Okay.”

Walter leaned down and kissed her, running his hand down to her hip.  The moved his mouth to her breasts, and Paige sighed, closing her eyes. 

Walter shifted farther down her body, kissing her stomach, balancing on one arm, his opposite hand sliding under her hip and squeezing her gently.  Paige blew out a long breath through her nose.

Walter’s mouth reached her hips, and he pressed a kiss about an inch away from her clit, on either side, then pushed her legs apart.  Then he sat up, and she let out a whine before she could stop herself.

“Easy,” he said, reaching for a pillow that she wasn’t resting her head on.  “I’m getting there.”

“Get there faster,” she grunted, lifting her hips so he could tuck the pillow underneath.

Walter smiled.  Paige was beginning to wonder if he’d tied her hands so she couldn’t smack the smug look off his face.

He settled back down between her legs, turning his head to press wet kisses to one of her thighs.  Paige didn’t know if it was because of how long it’d been or if it was because she couldn’t use her hands, but she found her patience draining fast.  “ _Walter_.”

He recognized her tone, and shifted his position, dropping his head and licking straight up her slit, and her abs clenched in response to the sensation.  She tipped her head to the side, blocking out everything else.  Walter slid his hands around her thighs and hummed against her.

Paige let out a hard breath when his lips parted and covered her, his tongue stroking.  Her hands curled into fists, and she moaned quietly.  She normally clenched her hands around a pillow, or the sheets, or ran them through Walter’s hair.  She couldn’t do any of that.  She drew her knees up, pressing her feet against the mattress.  Walter pushed one of them back down, scooting closer, his lips pushing harder against her.  Paige gasped softly as his nose bumped against her clit.  She wiggled her hands until her palms faced each other, and linked her fingers.

Walter lifted his head for breath, then closed his eyes and continued.  Paige moaned as he flattened his tongue.  God.  _God_.  He lifted his head again, wiping his mouth, then turned his attentions higher, swirling the tip of his tongue clockwise around her clit.  Paige pressed her lips together, whimpering, her hips pushing against him.  He switched to counter clockwise, dropped his head down to lap at her, and then lifted it again, going back to the darkening bud, parting his lips and repeating the circling motion with his tongue.  Paige bit down on her lip.  No one was home, the walls weren’t even that thin, but she was still self – conscious whenever she was going to be loud and this time she wasn’t able to cover her mouth.  “Shit,” she moaned, squeezing her eyes shut and arcing her back, pushing her hips against Walter’s face.  He pushed them back down with his hands, shifting his weight so more of it was on his upper body, giving him a greater ability to hold her still.  His tongue swiped directly over her clit, and Paige turned her head against her arm, whimpering again, her wrists straining against the ribbon.  The contact stopped, and she opened an eye, peering down her body and noticing Walter’s eyebrows were raised as he looked up at her.  She shook her head – she didn’t need him to stop – and he smiled and resumed.

She groaned as he flattened his tongue against her clit and began to move it up and down, the sensations rapidly increasing in intensity.  “Oh, God.”  Walter slid a hand from her hip and pushed a finger into her, locating the spot inside and rubbing it.  He closed his lips around her clit and sucked, his tongue continuing to massage, and that did it.  Paige yelped loudly, going lightheaded as she felt the rush spreading out from her core and the spasming that let Walter know for sure she’d come.

He removed his finger and kissed her gently where she was most sensitive, then moved his mouth to her thighs, placing soft kisses on one, then the other.  Paige closed her eyes again, focusing on his touch.  He was always like this, loving and careful, and she focused on her breathing, in and out, in and out.

Walter stroked her hip as he moved up to kissing her stomach, then crawled over her, staring down.  “I love you,” he whispered, a smile on his face.

She blinked, smiling herself.  “I love _you_.”  Walter reached up and tugged at the ribbon, and quickly had it loosened.  Paige pulled her hands free and sat up, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him hard.  He curled his arms around her, removing his lips from hers and tucking his face into the crook of her neck. 

Paige had slid partway down the bed – though not too far because of the ribbon – and she shifted back into a position that was comfortable to be in long term. Walter slid a hand around her leg, lifting her hips as he prepared to enter her.  “Wait,” she said pushing at his chest.  “Can you wear a condom?  I missed my pill a couple times this past week when…when I had a lot on my mind.”

“Oh.”  He sat up, scooting off the bed and rummaging through the drawer in her nightstand.  “Um…”

“Bathroom, medicine cabinet.  I’ll get them.”

“No,” Walter said, holding up a hand to stop her.  He disappeared into the bathroom and reappeared moments later.  He crawled back onto the bed and covered himself, dropping the wrapper into the trash and setting an unopened one on the nightstand.  “ _Maybe_ ,” he emphasized when she raised her eyebrows and licked her lower lip, a smirk on his face.

“Come here,” she said with a smile, pulling him down, settling against the pillows.

He pushed into her slowly, kissing her throat, and she sighed in contentment as he filled her for the first time in too long.  _Damn communication issues.  Damn them to Hell._ She hooked her legs around him, pulling him deeper, and they both groaned quietly.  She ran her fingers through his curls, tugging until he lifted his head from her throat to her lips.  “I love you,” Walter mumbled again.  “I love you and I love this.”

“Good,” she whispered.  “Because I’ll never get enough of this.  Ever.  Not knowing we both feel this way.”  She shifted her weight and placement of her ankles, giving Walter more freedom to move, and he began to rock his hips.

“God, you feel good,” he moaned, as if he was surprised, as if this was new, as if he hadn’t felt her around him countless times before.  Paige smiled as she moved with him.  _He_ felt good.  _This_ felt good.  She’d have gone without it and never regretted her decision, but _God_ she was glad she didn’t have to.

This was the traditional position, but she did like it most of the time, because it was easy for them to kiss.  And after the past couple of weeks, even though things hadn’t exactly been _bad_ between them, she was craving the extra intimacy.  Walter was moving slowly, his thrusts even but restrained, drawing out the pleasure for both of them.  Paige sighed audibly.  “ _Just like that_ ,” she whispered.  “ _Ho God, just like that._ ”

Walter hummed against her mouth, flexing his fingers on her hip.  She ran her hand back through his hair.  Walter lifted his head, looking down at her, his thrusts coming a little quicker.  Paige groaned softly through closed lips at the increased stimulation, easing into the new rhythm.

Walter didn’t have the _most_ stamina of any guy out there, but he could usually bring her over once this way, and sometimes twice, before he allowed it for himself.  This time, though, she could hear the way he was breathing, and when he suddenly dropped down, his head buried in the crook of her neck, and his hips pumped faster, she ran her hand soothingly through his hair even as the increased stimulation made her moan loudly.  Walter moaned in response, then grunted.   “ _Paige_ ,” he gasped, his voice hoarse, going still and panting against her neck.

“It’s okay.”

“Gotta…gotta stop a second.” 

She could feel his heavy breathing.  “No,” she said, continuing to rock her hips.  “It’s okay, Love.”

“I just…” He closed his eyes, holding still.  “It’s supposed to take longer the second time.”

 _It’s been a while, Love._ She tightened around him.  She wasn’t close enough yet for his effort to be successful, and she knew he’d finish her afterward if she wanted.  “Come on, Love,” she said gently, putting her legs back around his hips.  “Come on.”

He relented, pumping his hips faster, and she felt his teeth against her shoulder and heard a sound in the back of his throat that rushed from his lips moments later as his thrusts became erratic and he pushed his hips forward one more time, holding them against hers.  He drew in a breath and groaned again, and she kept her legs around him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing his ear.  “You’re okay,” she whispered lovingly.  “I’ve got you.”

He mumbled something against her neck, then rolled off, removing the condom and dropping it off the side of the bed.  “Walter,” she said, “the trash is on this side.”

“Dammit.”  He slid off the side of the bed, vanished for a moment, then popped back up, crawling across the mattress and letting it fall into the basket.  He crawled back next to her and lay flat on his back, his breath coming a little easier.  He gestured to her.  “Come over here.”

Paige eagerly crawled over him, shifting until her knees were just above his head and lowered herself, sighing when his lips reached her.  She leaned forward, bracing on her arms, shifting her hips forward and back.  Walter’s elbows bent, settling on the outside of her thighs.  He wasn’t trying to take control; she knew he just wanted to touch her.

“Oooooh,” she breathed, wiggling her hips over him, peering down between her arms to make sure he was able to breathe.  She reached down, stroking his hair affectionately, pushing her hips down on him and whining softly.  He locked his lips around her and sucked, drawing her into his mouth, his tongue stroking her.  Then he released her, extending his tongue and holding it stiff as she rocked over him.  “Oh God.”

She started to thrust faster, leaning on her arms with her eyes closed, his lips and tongue matching her perfectly.  She could feel her orgasm building, fast, intense, and she shifted back, her hands behind her on his chest, rotating her hips over him at the new angle and grunting quietly.  Walter lifted his head a fraction, locking his lips around her clit, and she slid her hand under his head and squeezed her eyes shut, letting out a sound that resembled a yelp.  Her breath came louder, and she bit her lip in an effort to stay quiet as she ground her hips against him and he stiffened his tongue and swiped it rapidly back and forth around her clit.  Her teeth released her lip and she cried out again, her thighs shaking.  Once more, and that was all it took.  Walter stroked her thighs soothingly as he kissed her down.

Paige shakily crawled off of him and fell onto her side, then her back, gasping.  Walter scooted over, wrapping an arm around her and drawing her to him.  They lay on their sides facing each other, Paige wrapped up in his arms.  “Oh my God,” she breathed when she could form words again.

Walter kissed her, and she sighed happily, wiggling closer and sliding an arm around to his back.  She’d lost all concept of time; she had no idea how long they lay there, legs tangled together and tongues stroking each other, one of his hands caressing her from shoulder to hip and her fingers curling and uncurling over his back.  But it was a long time.

He broke the verbal silence first.  “I love you.”

He’d said it several times since he’d gotten home.  It wasn’t losing any meaning.  She put a hand up to the side of his face.  “Walter, I love you _so_ much.”

“I feel I haven’t said enough to make up for making you feel so bad lately.”

“No.”  She wiped his upper lip with her finger.  “I was overthinking it. Making myself insecure.  Please don’t feel bad.”

“I just…if I’d been more in tune with how you were feeling…”

“I wasn’t talking.  You can’t expect to read my mind.”  Paige kissed him again.  “Please, Walter.  I don’t want you to feel like you aren’t enough.”

“But I don’t either,” he said, “and you spent two weeks thinking that you weren’t.  And Paige, I…” he shook his head.  “I hate that you were hurting.  I wish I could make everything good for you.  All the time.  I love you.”

“I know,” she said tenderly.  “I never doubted that for a second.”

He smiled, but he didn’t look entirely convinced.

“Walter,” she said, smiling, cradling his face.  “I told you at the beach.  I’ve never been so happy as I am with you.  I didn’t think feeling this much was even possible.”

Walter tipped his head, nuzzling her nose with his own.  Paige didn’t need him to say it was all the same for him.  That was something he made clear almost every day.  “You did bring out that other condom,” she said, a flirtatious smirk on her face.  “We’ll be pretty sore tomorrow,” she said with a chuckle, “but…do you think you can…”

Shrugging, Walter slid his hand down to her thigh and tugged, and she hooked her leg over his hip as he put his lips back on hers, moving the hand that was on her thigh over to her rear and pressing her to him.  Paige scooted up slightly and kissed him back, moaning quietly when after only about a minute she felt him starting to twitch and harden.  She rubbed against him, keeping her lips on his and swallowing his quiet sounds.  Walter continued to grip her, holding her against him.  Paige reached down and closed her fingers around him, feeling him surge in her hand.  She shifted her weight, drawing her hips back and guiding him to her entrance, wiggling closer again, sighing as she took him in.  Walter groaned softly.  “God, Paige.”

She kissed him again as he began to move, tightening her leg as it helped hold him in place.  At this angle, his shaft brushed her clit with each thrust, and she closed her eyes blissfully, settling into the rhythm, his tongue still tangling with hers.

She wanted to tell him how good this all was.  Had she said it too much already?  _He does love facts._   Paige moaned softly, placing a hand on his side to make him stop and scooting even closer, adjusting her leg around him.  He resumed thrusting, slowly, carefully as to not slip out of her at this angle.  Paige placed a hand on the side of his neck, pressing their foreheads together.  “Oh God, this feels incredible.”

The stimulation of her clit meant it wasn’t too many more minutes before she was shuddering, biting on his lip, and giving a long, low moan as she came apart.

Her eyes popped open almost before it was over.  “The condom!”  _We forgot._ She wiggled away from Walter, sitting up, eyes wide.

“Shit.”  He looked annoyed with himself, but it quickly turned to concern when he saw she’d had a scare.  “It’s okay,” Walter said sitting up on his knees and reaching out, rubbing her arms.  “It’s okay.  I didn’t.”  He stroked the side of her face.  “It’s okay.”  He kissed her forehead.

Her pounding heartbeat began to subside.  She’d only missed her pill a couple of times, and after years of regular use, it might not have mattered, even if he had.  She let out a shaky breath.  Walter continued to rub her arms soothingly.  “It’s okay.”

She reached down between them, tugging at him as she lowered her head and kissed and licked his chest.  There was no point in more talk about the condom if he wanted her to finish him with her hand or mouth.  “How?” She asked as his hips trembled, tiny thrusts against her hand.

There was a tugging at her scalp.  Walter wasn’t a hair puller, but he’d curled his fingers so tightly around her hair that it felt like it.  She flicked her tongue against one of his nipples.

“Paige,” he said, his voice hoarse.  “Paige, I need to be inside you.  Please.”

She’d asked him what he wanted, but he still so rarely verbalized exactly what he wanted that she found it an incredible turn on.  She gave his other nipple some attention, her hand still stroking him, feeling him frantically run his hands through her hair, a conscious effort to not grip.  Eventually, Paige lifted her head, going for his neck, finding the spot near his jaw.

“Paige…” Walter pulled away from her, scooting over to the side of the bed and grabbing the condom wrapper, his hands shaking as he carefully unwrapped it.  Covering himself, he pushed her onto her back and entered her in one swift motion.

His thrusts were more forceful than they had been all day, but she welcomed it, her body once again crying for release.  A hand squeezed her breast, and he put his lips back on her neck, finding the place that s _he_ liked best.  He shifted, changing the angle of his thrusts so he reached that spot inside her, and she groaned.  “ _Oh God, that’s it_ ,” she whispered.

He grunted in response, thrusting faster, and Paige gasped, each one bringing her closer and closer to the edge.  “Paige,” he rasped, “Paige, I’m…”

“Me too,” she gasped, “me too.”

“Oh God.”  Walter buried his face in her neck, his breath hot, and Paige heard his moans change pitch, but her thighs were already shaking hard and when he told her again that he was about to come she did so herself, her body reaching that glorious release for the fourth time that day.  The feel of her pulsing hard around him had Walter following her moments later, saying her name in a way that would sound as if he was in pain if she didn’t know better.

They lay together, her legs holding him in place, both struggling for breath.  He regained it first, pushing up and rolling off of her.  She put a hand over her forehead.

Walter removed the condom and cuddled back up to her, splaying his fingers across her stomach.  She let a hand drop into his hair.  “Today has been wonderful,” she said, feeling more than a little sappy but trying to restrain herself.

“Yeah.”  He smiled.  “You’re absolutely stunning like this.”

“Naked?” She smirked.

“Well, yes, but…” Walter gestured vaguely to her entire body.  “What I mean is…you’re happy.  Relaxed.  With that flush.” His eyes locked on hers, and he smiled lovingly.  “You look incredibly beautiful like this and I can’t believe I get to see you this way.”

If he was talking about her relaxation and full body blush, he more than got to see her that way.  “You _make_ me this way,” she said.

“I love you.”

She never tired of hearing it.   “I love you, too.”


End file.
